Funnyistan

Sunday, August 9, 2015

It's time for you to make a change, be it a new career path or simply a new challenge. The procedure for resigning is simple enough: give notice, preferably in advance. But if you don't want to burn any bridges, thereby creating obstacles to future opportunities, you must be especially careful and considerate. Resigning is easy, but resigning gracefully is not. This article specifically covers several ways a person can make their resignation as smooth and as grudge-free as possible.

1
Keep it to yourself. Once you've made the decision, don't go blabbing it all over the company until you have notified your immediate supervisor. Give her or him time to absorb and process the information. If the company makes an attractive counter-offer, it will be awkward if you have already announced your plans to coworkers.
2
Plan to give notice. If you want to leave under the best possible terms, don't leave your employer high and dry, scrambling to cover your position. Give at least two weeks notice (or the minimum notice specified in your employment contract if applicable) so that your boss can prepare to have others cover for you, or have time to groom a replacement.
3

A moment of your time?

Ask your boss for an appointment to discuss an important matter. Poking your head in and asking for a moment of his or her time will do - just be respectful of the fact that your supervisor has a job to do, and may not be able to drop everything at the precise moment you are prepared to spring this news on him or her. If there is too much going on, you will only add to your his or her hassles, so if it's at all possible, wait for a time when your boss will have a few moments to focus on your news.
4
Be prepared, direct, and polite. Rehearsing privately will help you be ready when your supervisor has you in to talk. Most managers are extremely busy and they will appreciate your direct approach, forgoing the temptation to "cushion the blow," "find the right way to say this," or otherwise beat around the bush. You might say something like:
- "I've been considering my options here for some time, and I've decided it's time for me to move on. I am grateful for the opportunities I've found here, but I must give my two weeks' notice."
- OR... "I need to let you know that I have been offered a new position at another company. I have really enjoyed working here, but I need to give you my two weeks' notice as of today. Does it work for you if my last day is [whatever two weeks from then is]?"
5
Be prepared to discuss. Chances are you've been working with this boss for some time, and whatever your reasons are for leaving, she or he may have some questions. Or your boss may value you much more than you realized, and make a counteroffer. Being polite and dignified about your resignation could make this possible. You will need to consider in advance whether you would stay for a pay raise, increased benefits, a promotion, or other incentives. This would be a prime negotiating opportunity, so be prepared for it, and know your own bottom line. If staying is an option, what would make you open to it? Check the warnings below, though, because counter-offers can have some serious downsides.
6
Emphasize the positive. Be honest, but polite. If the boss asks you if he or she had anything to do with your decision, and was a factor, it's best to rely on tact and diplomacy to make an honest answer palatable. In other words, you won't help yourself by saying, "Yes, you're a lousy supervisor and I (or anyone) would have been way better," (even if it's true). You can be truthful without being cruel: "It was a factor, but not the entire reason. I felt our working styles and approaches just weren't a great fit, and that we never meshed as well as I wished we had. Still, the overall experience here has been positive; and with this opportunity, I feel excited to have new challenges."
7
Have a copy of your letter of resignation in hand. Make your letter brief, non-confrontational and professional. An example: "Dear Mr. Spacely: It has been my honor to work for Spacely Sprockets, Inc. This letter is to notify you that I will be leaving to accept a new position with another company as of [a date which is AT LEAST two weeks from the date of your conversation and letter]. Please accept my thanks for our association, and best regards to you and the entire company for the future. Sincerely, George Jetson."
8
Shake hands, smile, and thank your boss. Whether your departure is to relocate, to take a better job, or just to get away from this guy, show some class when you're walking out the door. Shake hands, thank your soon-to-be-former supervisor (yay!) for "everything," and leave. Go to your work station and stay there for at least 10 minutes. Now you can go blab it to everybody, but don't rub it in your boss's nose - be classy and simply confirm that you will be leaving.

Tips

Remember that there are very few who are so free as those who have nothing to lose - but it won't serve you well in the future if you go shooting your mouth off just because you're on your way out. It won't kill you to make nice for two weeks, because you're getting out, and soon the entire experience will be behind you.
The jerk you leave behind today may well end up being your boss again - or perhaps even worse, your underling - in the future. And remember, too, that sometimes those jerks are oblivious to the fact that they're not well liked. If you are remembered as someone who was positive and generous in the past, you may well be greasing the wheels to a great future as this former boss of yours who is now your new boss puts you (the friendly face he remembers from before) ahead of the strangers in the new position. This may facilitate transfers to other branch offices, better assignments, and more.
Consider any counteroffer objectively and in depth. It may be wise to refuse any offers to stay with your current employer. Accepting a pay raise or other bonus after threatening to leave can cast you in a negative light with co-workers and the company as a whole. It can also make you seem indecisive and of questionable loyalty. Always keep a record of the offer in case you come back to the company in the future.
After informing your supervisor, be sure to personally tell other managers or key employees with whom you have worked that you have resigned. Say it in a way that "thanks" the person for helping you develop your career. "I don't know if you've heard, but I am resigning to take a position at another company. Before I leave I wanted to be sure to let you know how much I've enjoyed working with you." These people may leave for other jobs in the future and you want them to have positive memories of you. Who knows when they can impact your next career move.

Warnings

Allowing a boss you have disliked to needle you into insulting him or her will end badly. You don't want to end up being escorted off the premises by security. Don't give in to the temptation to say what you really think if it's negative.
Some bosses don't take kindly to you being "the decider." Be sure you can truly afford to walk away from your job that day, because sometimes the supervisor takes it very personally that you are leaving, tell you there's no need to give notice, and instruct you to leave immediately. You will be the best judge of this, so do your best to assess if your boss is one of these people - but be aware, sometimes, you just can't predict what anyone will do. Re-read your employment contract - you must be aware of all the company's and your own termination options. If there is no formal employment contract, familiarize yourself with the default provisions of your state/provincial law.
Be physically prepared to walk away that day: before resigning, save to disk or email to a private account anything you need and have the right to take such as contact information for clients, suppliers or other references; work samples; a list of projects you worked on, etc. [Keep in mind, much of the information and other items you had access to while employed are frequently proprietary and owned by the company. Make certain it is within the bounds of your contract and the law before you take this advice].
When considering a counter-offer, honestly evaluate why you want to leave - and protect yourself. While a raise might be nice, it might not solve other issues that require either a promotion (if your job advancement has stalled) or a transfer to another group (if you have personality conflicts with your boss). You can protect yourself from being vindictively fired later by demanding that, for at least two years, you stop being an "at will" employee and can only be fired "for cause."
A counter-offer is sometimes made because the employer has no one else available who is able to do your job. If that's the case, and you take the counter-offer, they will probably ask you to train others to take over your position. You may end up unwittingly training a replacement, only to find that the next change is not on your terms.
A counter-offer (if it's a raise only) may be an acknowledgment that you are being underpaid. (It may also be that your employer realizes that an investment of more money in you now will save them the expense of training and lost production while a replacement is trained and brought up to speed.) If you're being brought up to a proper pay level only under threat of leaving, you will likely have to face salary negotiations (or resigning) again in the future.
Be aware of any types of benefits you may be eligible for. If you are about to be laid off, you may have a severance package, or the option to collect unemployment benefits. These can be very handy if you have not secured a new job. Resigning from a position may disqualify you from receiving anything. It may be better in some cases to receive these benefits while looking for your next position.
DO NOT get into a complaint session with your co-workers before you leave. Behave as if you were returning as normal, and every negative thing you say will get back to the boss or to the person you complain about. Again, you never know when these people will resurface in your career. If you have to have a venting session, do it only with one very trusted co-worker. Save it for after you are gone - and definitely, do it away from the office.
Don't let your emotions get to you.

Originally posted by: Mr. M. Junaid Tahir

Shoaib Khan

Karachi | Pakistan

Monday, August 29, 2011

Who are dumb, deaf and blind? بہرے، گونگے اور اندھے کون ہیں

Shoaib Khan

Karachi | Pakistan

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Fwd: [PF:165737] DANGEROUS DRUGS BANNED GLOBALLY BUT AVAILABLE IN INDIA, CAN BE EXPORTED TO PAKISTAN

Dear All,

Make a checklist, check whether this medicine is in your home or whether it has been recommended by your doctor… please DO NOT use it…

Please Read Very Carefully – INFORM ALL YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY MEMBERS
Asia has become a dumping ground for banned drugs; also the business for production of banned drugs is booming. Plz make sure that u buy drugs ! only if prescribed by a doctor(Also, ask which company manufactures it, this would help to ensure that u get what is prescribed at the Drug Store) and that also from a reputed drug store. Not many people know about these banned drugs and consume them causing a lot of damage to themselves. We forward Jokes and other junk all the time. This is far more important.

Please make sure u forward it everyone u know.

DANGEROUS DRUGS HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLE IN INDIA and can be exported / smuggled to Pakistan or to any other country …. The most common ones are action 500 & Nimulid!!!!!!

PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE :
cold and cough. Reason for ban : stroke.
Brand name : Vicks Action-500

ANALGIN:
This is a pain-killer. Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression.
Brand name: ! Novalgin

CISAPRIDE:
Acidity, constipation. Reason for ban : irregular heartbeat
Brand name : Ciza, Syspride

DROPERIDOL:
Anti-depressant. Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat.
Brand name : Droperol

FURAZOLIDONE:
Antidiarrhoeal. Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen

NIMESULIDE:
Painkiller, fever. Reason for ban : Liver failure..
Brand name : Nise, Nimulid

NITROFURAZONE:
Antibacterial cream. Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furacin

PHENOLPHTHALEIN:
Laxative… Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Agarol

OXYPHENBUTAZONE:
Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug. Reason for ban : Bone marrow depression.
Brand name : Sioril

PIPERAZI! NE:
Anti-worms. Reason for ban : Nerve damage.
Brand name : Piperazine

QUINIODOCHLOR:
Anti-diarrhoeal. Reason for ban : Damage to sight.
Brand name: Enteroquinol

--
From:
[Pak-Friends] Group Member

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The C.I.A. created a "monster" that is today Afghanistan's ruling Taliban

Emperor's Clothes

The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) worked in tandem with Pakistan to create the "monster" that is today Afghanistan's ruling Taliban, a leading US expert on South Asia said here.

"I warned them that we were creating a monster," Selig Harrison from the Woodrow Wilson International Centre for Scholars said at the conference here last week on "Terrorism and Regional Security: Managing the Challenges in Asia."

Harrison said: "The CIA made a historic mistake in encouraging Islamic groups from all over the world to come to Afghanistan." The US provided $3 billion for building up these Islamic groups, and it accepted Pakistan's demand that they should decide how this money should be spent, Harrison said.

Harrison, who spoke before the Taliban assault on the Buddha statues was launched, told the gathering of security experts that he had meetings with CIA leaders at the time when Islamic forces were being strengthened in Afghanistan. "They told me these people were fanatical, and the more fierce they were the more fiercely they would fight the Soviets," he said. "I warned them that we were creating a monster."

Harrison, who has written five books on Asian affairs and US relations with Asia, has had extensive contact with the CIA and political leaders in South Asia. Harrison was a senior associate of the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace between 1974 and 1996.

Harrison who is now senior fellow with The Century Foundation recalled a conversation he had with the late Gen Zia-ul Haq of Pakistan. "Gen Zia spoke to me about expanding Pakistan's sphere of influence to control Afghanistan, then Uzbekistan and Tajikstan and then Iran and Turkey," Harrison said. That design continues, he said. Gen.Mohammed Aziz who was involved in that Zia plan has been elevated now to a key position by Chief Executive, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, Harrison said.

The old associations between the intelligence agencies continue, Harrison said. "The CIA still has close links with the ISI (Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence)."

Today that money and those weapons have helped build up the Taliban, Harrison said. "The Taliban are not just recruits from 'madrassas' (Muslim theological schools) but are on the payroll of the ISI (Inter Services Intelligence, the intelligence wing of the Pakistani government)." The Taliban are now "making a living out of terrorism."

Harrison said the UN Security Council resolution number 1333 calls for an embargo on arms to the Taliban. "But it is a resolution without teeth because it does not provide sanctions for non-compliance," he said. "The US is not backing the Russians who want to give more teeth to the resolution."

Now it is Pakistan that "holds the key to the future of Afghanistan," Harrison said. The creation of the Taliban was central to Pakistan's "pan-Islamic vision," Harrison said.

It came after "the CIA made the historic mistake of encouraging Islamic groups from all over the world to come to Afghanistan," he said. The creation of the Taliban had been "actively encouraged by the ISI and the CIA," he said. "Pakistan has been building up Afghan collaborators who will sustain Pakistan," he said. (1)

[(C) 'Times of India', 2001 Reprinted for Fair Use Only

Jared Israel comments:

This article includes some useful information but is misleading. It appears to strongly underestimate U.S. 'help' to the Taliban, suggests more Pakistani control than may have been the case, and views Washington's aid merely as a mistake. A 'N.Y. Times' article that appeared in 1998 (see: http://emperors-clothes.com/docs/camps.htm) suggests the CIA/NATO was directly involved. This of course makes it harder to suggest, as Mr. Harrison does, that "encouraging Islamic groups from all over the world to come to Afghanistan" was simply a mistake, something sold by Pakistan and stupidly bought by Washington. Washington's relations with and various uses of Islamist terrorism (or, as Washington sometimes likes to say, 'freedom fighters') is discussed in 'Credible Deception' at http://emperors-clothes.com/articles/jared/sudan.html#s

Comparison of 2 CV's of Heads

Comparison of 2 CVs

Chief Executive of India

Title: Prime Minister

Name: Dr Manmohan Singh

EDUCATION /Qualification:
1950: Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Punjab University, Chandigarh ,
1952; Stood first in MA (Economics), Punjab University , Chandigarh,
1954; Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College, Cambridge,
1955 and 1957; Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge ,
1957; DPhil (Oxford), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India's export competitiveness
Working Experience [Teaching]
Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59;
Reader, Economics, 1959-63;
Professor, Economics, Punjab University, Chandigarh, 1963-65;

Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics , University of Delhi , 1969-71;

Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi, 1976 and Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi,1996 and Civil Servant

Working Experience [INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS] :
1966: Economic Affairs Officer
1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD
1972-74: Deputy for India in IMF Committee of Twenty on International Monetary Reform
1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings
1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting
1982: Indo-Soviet monitoring group meeting
1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus 1993: Human Rights World Conference, Vienna

Working Experience [Government Positions]:
1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade
1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance
1976-80: - Director, Reserve Bank of India; Director, Industrial Development Bank of India;
               - Alternate governor for India , Board of governors , Asian Development Bank;
               - Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, IBRD
               - November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department of economic affairs);
               - Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission; Member, finance, Space Commission
April 1980 - September 15, 1982: Member-secretary, Planning Commission
1980-83: Chairman, India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study committee
September 16, 1982 - January 14 , 1985: Governor, Reserve Bank of India.
1982-85: Alternate Governor for India, Board of Governors, International Monetary Fund
1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister
1985: President, Indian Economic Association
January 15 , 1985 - July 31, 1987: Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission
August 1, 1987 - November 10, 1990: Secretary-general and commissioner, south commission, Geneva
December 10 , 1990 - March 14, 1991: Advisor to the Prime Minister on economic affairs
March 15, 1991 - June 20, 1991: Chairman, UGC
June 21, 1991 - May 15, 1996: Union finance minister
October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket
June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance
August 1, 1996 - December 4 , 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing committee on commerce
March 21, 1998 onwards: Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha
June 5, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on finance
August 13, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on rules
Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges 2000 onwards: Member,
executive committee, Indian parliamentary group
June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
Aug 2001 onwards: Member, general purposes committee
2004: Prime Minister of India

BOOKS:
India 's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth -Clarendon Press, Oxford University , 1964;

also published a large number of articles in various economic journals .

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
Adam Smith Prize , University of Cambridge, 1956
Padma Vibhushan , 1987
Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993;
Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia , 1993 and 1994

Chief Executive of Pakistan

Title: President of Pakistan

Name: Asif Ali Zardari

EDUCATION /Qualification:

High School from Cadet College Petaro

Details of higher formal education not known; Claims graduation from London but not available to be verified. As per some account. His official biography says he attended a commercial college called Pedinton School . But a search of tertiary educational institutions in London showed no such school.

Working Experience:

Early days: Working at the family owned Bambino Cinema at Karachi . Some accuse Mr Zardari of small-time ticket frauds to steal money from the family business.

Up till 1987 marriage to the future Prime Minister, Benazir Bhutto): No record.

1988 to date: While no official record of any business exists, Mr Zardari is widely believed to be one of the (if not the) richest man in Pakistan . An unofficial list of family owned businesses, property and accounts exists but the completeness of the same cannot be verified. Mr Zardari has however been involved in various national and international cases relating to his businesses. The most significant European cases are a Swiss money-laundering inquiry and British civil cases.

Working Experience [Politics]:

1988-1990: Husband of the Prime Minister

1993-1996: Minister of Environment during his wife's second term as the Prime Minister

Un till 1999: Senator

30 December 2007: Appointed himself as the co-chairman of the PPP, along with his son Bilawal Bhutto Zardari

September 9, 2008: Zardari was elected president of Pakistan . Sworn in by Abdul Hameed Dogar, whose position as the Chiefe Justice of Pakistan remains a contested issue by an overwhelming majority of the Pakistani legal fraternity.

Working Experience [Other]:

Other experience of Mr Zardari includes his widely believed but not proven involvement in:

- Several murders - most famously of his brother in law, possibly his wife

- Wrapping a bomb to the leg of a famous UK businessman to ask for money

- Embezzlement & looting of Billions of Pakistan's wealth

BOOKS:

None on record

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

Marrying the then future and now ex (RIP) Prime Minister of Pakistan

Only serving politician to have spent 10 years in Jail

Told the US VP Candidate that she is "gorgeous" and said : "Now I know why the whole of America is crazy about you". When the photographers asked the two to keep shaking hands, he replied : " If he insists, I might hug you". This was one day after the President delivered an emotional speech at the UN in new York waiving a photograph of his deceased wife only months after the murder of his wife.
  

Why Google Earth Can't Show You Israel

Why Google Earth Can't Show You Israel

Since Google launched its Google Earth feature in 2005, the company has become a worldwide leader in providing high-resolution satellite imagery. In 2010, Google Earth allowed the world to see the extent of the destruction in post-earthquake Haiti . This year, Google released similar images after Japan 's deadly tsunami and earthquake. With just one click, Google can bring the world—and a better understanding of far-away events—to your computer.

There is one entire country, however, that Google Earth won't show you: Israel .

That's because, in 1997, Congress passed the National Defense Authorization Act, one section of which is titled, "Prohibition on collection and release of detailed satellite imagery relating to Israel ." The amendment, known as the Kyl-Bingaman Amendment, calls for a federal agency, the NOAA's Commercial Remote Sensing Regulatory Affairs, to regulate the dissemination of zoomed-in images of Israel .

When asked about the regulation, a Google spokeswoman told Mother Jones, "The images in Google Earth are sourced from a wide range of both commercial and public sources. We source our satellite imagery from US-based companies who are subject to US law, including the Kyl-Bingaman Amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act of 1997, which limits the resolution of imagery of Israel that may be commercially distributed."

And it's not just Israel . The regulation also applies to the occupied territories. It's why Human Rights Watch can't provide detailed imagery of the Gaza Strip in its reports. Of course, this regulation cuts both ways; one also cannot see the destruction in Sderot resulting from rockets sent out of Gaza .

But, the impact of the regulation might be dwindling; after all, the US can only regulate the actions of American corporations. Turkey recently announced that its GokTurk satellite will provide high-resolution imagery of Israel when it becomes operational in 2013. Israel is unhappy with this possibility: An Israeli official told Al-Arabiya, "We try to ensure that we are not photographed at high resolutions, and most (countries) accommodate us." The official adds: "Should we request this of the Turks? We won't ask for it. There is no one to talk to."

A serious point to ponder..!

Why "the blue eyed" State is different from the rest of the World?

Source: Gmail